These beautiful words were written by Amy from @belovedpostnatal, following the birth of her first baby.
For me, this story highlights the shear amount of pain and struggle we have to manage postpartum. As I read this, all I could think of was the visitors, the random people on the street, the cashier in the shop. All asking the same things.
‘How is the baby?’
‘Are they good?’
And our answer, always the same.
‘Oh yes, they’re great, thanks. We're both doing fine'
Or the birth announcement that states ‘Mother and baby doing well'.
When Mother is exhausted, bleeding and overwhelmed.
Postpartum recovery is...
A retained placenta
A snapped umbilical cord
Losing a gush of blood
A crash button 999 call
Being stabbed with countless needles to get blood out and fluids in
Being transferred in an ambulance with your 1 hour old baby
Your husband having to travel separately through rush hour traffic
Lying in excruciating pain while doctors around you decide what to do
Having a bladder so full that they drain 1.5litres of urine from you
Having your placenta manually scooped out by a doctor
Screaming through a pain worse than childbirth
Stitches
Fainting when you try and go for a wee
Being fitted with a catheter for 3 days
Bleeding more than you could think ssible
Trying to hold a newborn with bruises up both arms
Trying to sleep in a hot hospital ward with constant interruptions
Trying to learn to breastfeed while your whole body aches
Being sent home
Taking a catheter home with your new baby, trying to work out how you’ll shower with it
Crying with the pain from your tense muscles from a very intense labour
Learning to breastfeed
Not getting more than 3 hours sleep per night for days
Returning to hospital to have the catheter removed
Starting to feel better
Being visited by a range of different midwives
Being proud and in love with your baby
A poorly baby, an ambulance trip to the hospital
Your baby being prodded and poked by doctors
Being sent home, told to watch him closely
Not being able to sleep, checking he’s still breathing
Wanting to feel normal again
Learning to breastfeed
A health visitor telling you your baby isn’t gaining weight
Worrying
A huge bleed and blood clots passed in the middle of the night
An ambulance call
A 4am trip to hospital
An antibiotic prescription and no real answer to the bleeding
Being sent home
Learning to breastfeed
Another big bleed, more blood clots
Another 4am trip to hospital
Waiting 12 hours for a scan
Having an internal scan with healing stitches
Being told that you still have parts of your placenta in your womb
Deciding that you want surgery to remove it
Sobbing
8 attempts to put in a needle
An overnight stay
IV antibiotics
Not being allowed to eat or drink for 12 hours, whilst breastfeeding
More needles, more bruises
Compression socks and a hospital gown
Leaving your baby to go to surgery
An operating table
General anaesthetic, feeling scared
Waking up in a different room in a different bed
Feeling so thirsty, 2 jugs of water
Being wheeled through the hospital
More waiting
News of a successful operation
Being sent home, again, for the last time
Embarking on the rest of your recovery, slowly and surely...
To share your postpartum story, please email zoe@postpartummatters.co.uk or DM me @postpartum_matters.
I hope that by sharing our stories, we can change the conversation from ' bouncing back' to resting and recovering. And, as a society, we can start caring for and holding space for those who are postpartum.